For some reason weird stuff happens to me...

[Volktales]

Just a title for my batch of weird stories.  And yes I have been saving up some good ones...  To be continued...

[Brenticon]

I see who you work with ... That's weird !

[mitchy965]

one christmas my dad gave me a box of broken glass,he gave my brother a box of band aids....then he said "now you boys share"

[Volktales]

Ok, here is a weird story I have been saving for a while. You could call it the strangest thing that ever happened to me while at work. And I am not talking about my current job, where it seems strange things happen every day...

This concerns a summer job I once had almost 25 years ago. Back in those days I lucked into the best summer job you could have while living in Nanaimo. By best I mean well paid, not necessarily what I did. I was hired to be a summer relief worker at the Harmac mill which was still doing well in those days. I was assigned to a specific department known as the yard crew. I worked with a "special" bunch of people, many with unusual nick-names, none of which are possible to repeat here without offending someone.. I had two bosses, one called the "Bluebird of Happiness", the other the "Chicken of Despair". Anyway our "jobs" varied considerably as we were the crew who did work not assigned to specific departments, including cleanups, garbage duty, forklifts, dispatch, taxi service, dump runs, etc. One of the more unusual jobs was railway maintenance, as the mill had its own railway for moving pulp, chemicals, etc.

Well one day I found myself on railway duty. The weeds had gotten quite high around the track switches. These were old school mechanical switches that shifted the track over to switch lines. My job was to pull weeds around the switches and grease them with the grossest pot of grease I ever saw! Each switch had a large lever in which to pull in order to switch the tracks. My two minutes of training ended with the message "You absolutely must put the switch lever back in the position you found it after greasing the mechanism, or else". With those words of wisdom ringing in my ears, I spent the rest of the day cleaning and greasing each switch, and returning them to their original state...


I finished the last switch around 4pm, and then the small Harmac locomotive slowly made its way down the track towards me. The engineer was on his way to the waiting barge to unload. He looked at me as he passed and then quickly ground to a halt as the train derailed right beside me, tearing up a large section of track!!!! He looked like he was about to burst into tears as he cried "My loci, my loci"!!! I figured my short lived career as a summer worker was done for sure. Then my boss showed up. He looked at me and smiled "Ha-ha, you greased the train right off the tracks!!!" My boss and crew where not upset at all, as they made serious overtime to repair the tracks that night. For some reason, I was not invited to share in that... Surprisingly nobody said a word to me about the incident. Later my boss said the switch failed internally when I returned it to the locked position, and it was not my fault in any way. Don't think the engineer ever looked at me again however... They say the incident cost the company $25,000 that day...

[Wongai]

My dad used to tell me a story of when he was a teen working in the Lake Louise Lodge as a cook. He claimed they used to use kitchen grease to lube the tracks in the spiral tunnel. They would then have a beer and bet on how far the train would be able to climb the mountain before sliding back down(engines screaming). Sounds like bull shirt to me, but your story reminded me of that tale.

Looking forward to this thread.
B

[Volktales]

Ok here is another one... I have been trying to cut down on sugary junk food, and have been somewhat successful. But not yesterday. A customer brought in some very fresh doughnuts, and they were calling out to me... That greasy apple fritter, dripping with artery clogging goodness tasted great! The guilt shortly after not so much... And then came the dreams that night... I was at the shop working on a high-top Vanagon (ugh!). A guy pulls up in his Oldsmobile high-top camper van. It seems the roof mounted jet turbine booster would not ignite. As usual the customer had no money, so didn't want the electronic ignition sequencer fixed. He just wanted me to climb up there and initiate the manual pull start overider. Then I woke up. No more doughnuts...

[mitchy965]

yikes!!! who is your baker??

[tony]

nice!! who is your baker??  

[Volktales]

Believe it or not, just your average everyday Tim Hortons...

[Brenticon]

Weird is, as weird does. I'm betting Harry has something to do with this .... Hahaha

[PICTUP]

I think that Vanagon hightop would have benefitted more from that turbine….ignited though So what do you think Harry sprinkled on the fritter Brent, shrooms?

[tony]

I'm thinking some of that 200 proof carb cleaner , substance of opportunity!

[Volktales]

Hmmm, Harry did point at the fritter and suggested I should eat that one...

[Volktales]

Ok here is another recent incident... On New Years Eve, my students were out, Victor was at a friend's house overnight, and wifey was in bed with a migraine. So naturally I was on the Samba... Anyway the doorbell rings at 11:30pm, and I thought one of my students forgot their key. Uh no, it was a young couple who asked if they could please borrow my.... TOILET PLUNGER!  It seems they had just moved into a basement suite up the hill and their landlord was out. And they were desperate for a working toilet... So I told them that they won the award for the weirdest question ever asked at my door in the last 22 years of living here! So I let them borrow it, wondering if they were actually going to use it for something other then intended... Surprisingly two days later a brand new plunger was dropped off at my door... That was weird...        

[PICTUP]

It is good they borrowed it, because as we know sh*t runs downhill Would you have wanted your old plunger back?